“You’re so much stronger than I ever could be if I were in your shoes.”  “You’re so strong.”  “I don’t know how you are doing it.  I couldn’t do it if I were you.”  All of these statements have been said to me since my father passed away and people realized that I am dealing with some bad grief.

Whenever I heard these statements, I cringed.  I so badly wanted to spit back, “I am not strong.  I am breaking inside.  I am just good at hiding it.”  I also wanted to so, “If I am strong, it is not by choice.  It is because I have to move on with my life even if I don’t want to.  The world won’t let me shut down like I want to.  I have no choice but to be strong and fight away the tears every day.”

In reality, if you are…