As hard as I try, I can not stop that feeling. It feels like a big hole in my chest and hurts so bad. The pain, there is no way to describe it…it’s unbearable. The loneliness is never-ending and yet we go on. How? I can not answer that for it feels like I am floating in a world that doesn’t exist…… Empty. Just trying to get through a day just to fight to get through the next day. And no one seems to understand how after 4 yrs. I still feel like this. Grief has no time schedule. So when does it ends? It doesn’t, we just learn to accept and to live on with our lives. Changes are made, we are now a completely different person then we were back then. As a friend said to me after I made the statement, things are never going to be the same. He looked me in my face and told me I will never be the same. At that time I didn’t understand what he was telling me. But now years later I understand. And I continue writing my feelings and seeking for peace but it has not been found. So I go on waiting my time to join my love and then we will be together again as we truly belong. And once again happiness will return. And we will once again be one. They say sharing is caring, so lets share and maybe we can help each other.