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And it continues

As hard as I try, I can not stop that feeling. It feels like a big hole in my chest and hurts so bad. The pain, there is no way to describe it…it’s unbearable. The loneliness is never-ending and yet we go on. How? I can not answer that for it feels like I am floating in a world that doesn’t exist…… Empty. Just trying to get through a day just to fight to get through the next day. And no one seems to understand how after 4 yrs. I still feel like this. Grief has no time schedule. So when does it ends? It doesn’t, we just learn to accept and to live on with our lives. Changes are made, we are now a completely different person then we were back then. As a friend said to me after I made the statement, things are never going to be the same. He looked me in my face and told me I will never be the same. At that time I didn’t understand what he was telling me. But now years later I understand. And I continue writing my feelings and seeking for peace but  it has not been found. So I go on waiting my time to join my love and then we will be together again as we truly belong. And once again happiness will return. And we will once again be one. They say sharing is caring, so lets share and maybe we can help each other.

One thought on “And it continues

  1. I lost my mother 10 years ago and my father this spring. Both were unexpected. I have yet to cope with both deaths and am having a HORRIBLE time since my father passed away. I still see a grief counselor and we are working on making peace with my mother’s death. I have witnessed a HUGE change in myself since my father died and I know that I will never be the same. Friends have left me in my grief (and these are friends that were supposedly my “best friends”). I have come to the conclusion that people aren’t who they say they are. I have learned a lot about trusting people and just who can be a friend. I am no longer the naive young adult that I was. I am a full grown woman that now sees the pain of the world and the selfishness of people.

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