To set apart from others, To put by itself
To place or be placed
Isolator….a noun…..that’s what I am to myself without even knowing
Yes that is what I did to myself and didn’t even know until I sat back and looked at my life and what it has become. It started around the date April 14, 2016. The first step I took was deactivation my Facebook account. I just got so tired of spending so much time with something that only made me feel even worst about the way my life turned out. I spent the first 38 yrs. of my life with the one and only true love of mine. Since his passing I have lost all will for life. My interest in life is gone, I just make it through one day just to get to the next day, wishing life away. At one point in my life I did not like to sleep, I slept very few hours at a time, I wanted to spend my life..”My Time” “awake” being with my love ♥ Leroy ♥ and that was Good, because I was happy and in love. But Now? I find sleeping is a way to escape the pain of the hole in my chest that was created the day he passed taking so much of me and the best part of my life with him. But no one sees the pain I still carry. So with that said, Facebook is nice, lots of friends but I need to go on.
Then more and more days I found myself keeping my phone on privacy mode. I would see if there was any activities going on with my phone liking receiving a text or a notice. But mostly I use my phone for reading my books from Amazon and Goodreads. My new hobby that gives me peace, a real satisfaction of some kind. But now I spend most of my time alone…in silence…enjoying my alone time reading. A new good feeling. And I kind of like being in my own world undisturbed, just me and Mickey. Here is where I find my Peace.
It’s possible to go on, no matter how impossible it seems, and that in time, the grief lessens. It may not go away completely, but after a while Its not so overwhelming. – Unknown